The GEPIK Switch
So… I actually want to teach in a public school now.
I had the pleasure to work at a (great) hagwon… and I even got an offer from the very same place to work for them again.
Of course I declined because I refuse to live in the city same city, let alone work for the same place.
Anyway, I spoke with my recruiter and was able to explain what a GEPIK stint would be like.
I’m hooked.
Now I’m hoping that a public school would hire me.
A school in Hanam wanted to interview me, but they wanted me to be there on July 7th.
Too early. No go.
Anyhoo, I’m crossing my fingers.
Papa God will put me in the place I was meant to be and I’ll make the most out of it either way.
Mom
I told my mom.
She’s disappointed. And very sad.
But she gave me her blessing.
Thank you. I love you.
But then.
Is this the right time to leave since my grandma just died?
Will there ever be a right time?
Am I being selfish?
Am I only thinking of myself?
Am I bad kid?
Should I wait?
Should I help the family first?
…
In the end, I know that I actually need to leave.
Sure, I’ll have fun in Korea. Make friends. See places.
I’m going to wish my family’s with me.
Still, I know this is part of life.
I’ve grown.
A greater good will come out of this.
No, I’m not just convincing myself.
So help me God.
Regrets
As I was writing the post about my grandma (+RIP+), I noticed the part where I was saying sorry to her. Not smiling. Not hugging. Not being nice. Not buying gifts.
Not. Not. Not.
All regrets. That’s very scary. And a very scary way of life.
This helped me make up my mind. I was previously considering not going to Korea anymore so I can live the “normal” life here in the US (to please my folks). I’ve been considering that for a long time, but my love for traveling is always brimming on the surface.
So I’m no longer afraid to tell my parents of my plans because 10 years down the road, I know I will regret it. I don’t want my spirit to break or my heart to die before I say something. No regrets.
Thanks, Grandma.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Grandma
My grandma passed away two days ago due to stroke and multiple organ failure. She was vacationing in the Philippines when the attack happened. She’s still there. She’ll be cremated and will be flown back home here in California.
She calls me ‘Jing’ but it sounds like ‘Jeng’ whenever she says it. “Jeeeeeeeeng” she’ll shout all the time. Or “Jing, san ka punta?” (Jing, where are you going?)
You know, that old lady and I were never close. That old lady did many terrible things to my mom. I used to like her, but as I grew older, all my affections for her went away. She became nicer to me–to us–when my siblings and I were already all grown up. I figured it’s too late. I guess it really was.
Still, that old lady is my grandma. Or should I use was now?
I look a lot like her. We have a lot of things in common as well, including the love for music (and playing it out loud), our more unusual interest/devotion when it comes to our Roman Catholic faith, and our fondness for travel. She also liked being queen, and I’m her more subdued version. At times I resent looking like and having a lot in common with her. At (rare) times I’m glad I have this connection with her. Today it’s the latter.
I remember going back home for my vacation from Korea. The day I was flying back to Korea, she was crying, hugging, and kissing me. She was really sad. Figured she was just feigning it. I was just indifferent. The last time I saw her was in her place and she was sending some of her stuff to the Philippines. She was being her forgetful self and was having trouble understanding the numbers she had to pay FedEx. I got exasperated and left. She was just sitting on her sofa.
I was away when she left for the Philippines. I didn’t think much of it. But I had an inkling.
At this moment though, as much as I want to hate this lady, to drown out the sadness, to feel the resentment that I’ve had for her for many, many, many years, I just can’t. I remember resolving being nice and affectionate to her. She did some stuff and I lapsed. Never recovered.
Detecting regret here.
Being Roman Catholic… I cannot be so daft and just assume that she’s in a “better place” now. I do pray that she is or that she will be. Mamang, I’m sorry for being a punk. I’m sorry for not smiling at you more. I’m sorry for not getting you gifts on your birthdays. I’m sorry for not being patient with you. I’m sorry for not hugging you back. I’m sorry.
And you know what, I love you after all.
~~Jing
Practicing English. Whaaaat? Help!
Yeah. Since I’m planning on leaving for Korea this coming July/August, I’ve been practicing my (gasp!) English. Well, the pronunciation, diction, enunciation –the “tions” –part.
I usually tend to speak really fast, slur my words (dunno, gonna, gahead), and speak in [California] slang (dude, bad ass, wassap ese? LOL). Now that I think about it, I feel bad for my students in my first year of teaching. I doubt that they understood half the things I was saying. Heck, I don’t think my fellow ENTs understood me. Good thing I was sober.
Anyway, in addition to grammar, I’ve been working on my speaking. I’ve been reading random stuff out loud all the time. I don’t know if it’s working. So…
Would you mind if I asked you to listen to a short clip of me reading some Wikipedia article about Bhutan (LOL)? Your feedback is highly appreciated.
If you don’t care about me, just think about the kids. Do it for the kids. It’s right here: Kat’s Short Wikipedia Recording
Thanks a million!
Telling Mom: Part 1
I have an inkling that she knows already. I mean, you know how moms are. They just know. It’s like they get this mind-reading upgrade the moment they get pregnant. She’s just waiting for me to crack.
Anyhoo, I’ll let her know the day I get my FBI CBC. This is the only time I wish the darn FBI would take their time.
So yeah. Bracing myself.
Taking The Hagwon Route
I have received inquiries from a couple of people wondering why I prefer to work in hagwons instead of public schools (through EPIK/GEPIK). After all, public schools are very reliable (I haven’t heard of any horror stories at all regarding public schools) and offer lots of vacation days. Not to mention that you won’t have to worry about being asked to work on Saturdays (I’m pretty sure that’s the case). So… why do I insist on still working for a hagwon?
[Note: I have never worked for a public school, so I'm only going with what I've heard/read in the streets. I have no problems with being nicely corrected. ^^]
Well… I have a couple of reasons:
1. I don’t like working in the mornings. There I said it. Wake me up anytime before 9 AM and I’ll be bitch cranky the entire day or two. Hagwon classes start around 3, so I just need to be there by 2. Which means I have to get up at least by 1.Not bad. Usually though I get up at 10.
*The downside, so they say, is that public school teachers finish work around 5-6 PM and hagwon teachers don’t get to go out til around 9-10 PM. I say, the good shows on TV start around 9, that happy hours start around 9 as well… and there are less people in the subway/streets at 9 compared to 5, 6, or 7. And, if I do decide to wake up early in the morning, that means I get to go to a Tae Kwon Do class, Korean class, or even just go for a short hike in the morning.
2. I like my classes small. In hagwons, the max number of students you get are 12 (from my experience and heard). It usually averages 8-9. I get to focus on my kids, get to know them better, adjust the class according to their learning styles, and even help them work on their weak points individually. Can’t do that with 40 kids. How many students per class are there in a public school? Even it it’s just 20, it’s still too much for me. And I doubt there are only 20 students in there. Plus, for me, a lot of students mean a lot of names. A lot of kids to look out for. A lot of kids to miss come last day of contract.
3. Less formal/rigid demands when it comes to grading. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I fail and have failed students. In a hagwon. Yes, in the infamous hagwon where kids are supposed to be kept happy so you don’t fail them so they’d stay. Not me. Still, I don’t like the idea of scaring the helluvah out of a kid with the prospect of having an F in his/her transcript, thereby affecting his/her future in school. At least in a hagwon, the worst that can happen is your mom takes you off the language school and/or just transfers you to another.
*Some people might think this is very bad reasoning. I quite agree. But I also agree that it’s better if someone does well in something because they like it rather than for the sake of getting good grades. I really want to be a good teacher–so I strive to give good classes–so my kids will enjoy it and do well. Good grades should be a natural consequence, not an end.
4. It’s more quiet. You’ve been in school. Most of us have. So you probably know how hectic a school is morning, lunchtime, and dismissal time. And every time in between. There’s kids running around, coming in and out of the teacher’s office, etc. Generally, lots of things going on. That drives me bonkers. In hagwons, it’s generally quiet and less hectic. I like my peace and quiet.
Those are my four major reasons. Of course there are downsides such as missing cultural events in public schools or missing out on what “real” school is like in Korea. Plus, if you work for a small hagwon, you can’t go an a (self-selected) vacation with a co-teacher as you’ll end up closing the entire place down. I do admit that sometimes I’m rethinking my decision. Still, after considering things thoroughly, working at a hagwon is a much better match for me. Not for everyone though. It all boils down to your preference.
In the end, it won’t matter much whether you work for a public school or a (reputable) hagwon. What matters is that you do your job well, treat your students well, and that you come out and enjoy what Korea has to offer. After all, if you don’t, what did you go there for?
On a lighter note…
…hating a love song has never been cooler. No, epic. [Why I wasn't born in Korea is still a mystery to me]
Moving Out
This post is more personal and much, much less related to Korea. Read if you must. You’ve been warned. No, really. Read the rest of this entry »
